Voices Newspaper Altinkum Didim Turkey - Have you seen my rose-tinted glasses?

THIS is the continuing story of Emily Johnson-Kisa’s temporary infatuation led to an enduring connection with Turkey. From her Minnesota roots to Fevzı Paşa, near Akbük. Emily reflects on her journey so far. For more of her writings go to her blog at http://ohhhsweetturkey.blogspot.com/

GUESS what…I’m hot! I bet you are too? Oh that’s right I am sure you are all wiping sweat from your brows as you read this! I am having a slight case of writer’s block because it again is too hot to think, too hot to move and I am currently 33 weeks pregnant.

I have started to waddle rather than walk and can’t quite seem to find a comfortable position to get into my “writing mood” but here goes…

My grandma always said the world would be a really boring place if everyone was the same. When I first set out to TRAVEL I look for the differences and similarities to my own reality, I embrace the idiosyncrasies, longing for the uniqueness of a different place.

Leave ego aside about my own country not comparing but searching for the identity of the country I find myself in.

When I first studied abroad in Eskisehir it was straight rose-tinted glasses the whole way. They were permanently strapped to my head. I was in love with everything. Bliss.

Fast forward 2 ½ years now…I had a realization the other day…I’m not TRAVELING anymore…I am just straight LIVING…living abroad.

LIVING lately has me wondering where I put my rose-tinted glasses? Has anyone seen them? Maybe the raging pregnancy hormones hid them? Maybe they went down the drain with the rest of our sitesi’s water only to return again 24 hours later and then head back out again? Aren’t the water shortages fun?

Maybe one of the tons of stray dogs and cats took them and are trying to eat them? Maybe they got mixed up with the chipping paint that falls from my ceiling daily (even though we just painted) and I accidentally vacuumed them up? Maybe they got thrown out the window by someone who thinks it is ok to litter all over the roads?

Maybe they liquefied and straight evaporated from the heat? Maybe they…fill in the blanks…I know we all have a few…its kinda fun…I just love sarcasm…I don’t think this humor translates so well into to Turkish though? Obviously, I need to go cool off…

I run(full waddle) into the sea…Ahhhh...cold. I feel light for now, I feel free, my movements open. My hips can bend. I can actually be on my back (which you can't do when you are pregnant - only sleep on your sides).

I float on my back, light and relaxed. I twirl my arms back stroking, loosening up my joints and muscles. I take deep breaths like what I have learned from practicing yoga. I think of my mom whenever I back stroke...she always loves this at the cabin, on the lake.

My mind opens as my body does. I am free, I am light, I am blessed. I think about our fathers, my husbands and mine, the cancer. The change. I hold my breath and plunge back down into the sea.

Grasp for air. Look up at the blue sky that reflects down on the clear water making it appear blue- MAVI in Turkish. Some days dark blue, others light, Turquoise, green or Grey...so beautiful. I know our baby must love swimming.

I think about the Pacific Ocean off the California coast. How different that water is than this; colder, darker, more wild. How different my life was there.

As I float I am still, I close my eyes and listen, listen to my own breath under water, I wonder if this is what my breath sounds like to my baby. I wonder if that is why I get nostalgic from listening to my mother breath. I listen to the waves, the birds, the muffled sounds underwater. I think of whales and dolphins.
I hear my husband call to me. I smile.

I float...I think of fun cabin times on old Tractor tires. Family.

I open my eyes and see my hands wading, my belly, my feet and then the bottom of the sea. The water is so clear. And there they are…my rose-tinted glasses…I found them again.

The sun is starting to set. The air is cooling. My husband swims out to me. We float and think about our daughter who will join us soon. I love the sea. I need to find a balance.

My rose-colored glasses are not a permanent fixture on my head…and that’s ok. Neither are they lost never to be found …They are on one of those strings so they can hang around my neck, easily accessible.